"Rabbi, how does one go about investigating a murder?"
"Ruthele, do you ask me this because I am your Baba's spiritual advisor, because I have the ear of G-d, or because you suspect evil doing and you are warning me that you are on to my scams?"
"Rebbe, you watch too much Dragnet. No, no I come to you 'cause everyone else is working."
"Oy, casual cruelty is the worst kind – look it up 575th commandment."
"I will."
"I know you will – if you came to synnagogue more and hung out with your commie cronies less, maybe your mouth wouldn't be so smart, and your heart would be more kind."
"OK Rebbe I give I give – I'll come to shul this Friday with Baba OK?"
"Good, now what is this nonsense about murder?"
"I wish it was nonsense. Do you remember my neighbour Lawson Ogg?"
"Oy, yes, the poor fellow who died in the flood."
"Well, I've been thinking about it and I don't think it was an accident. It just couldn't have been."
"This is a very serious thing you are saying. Do you have proof."
"Not a shred and it's been a year and I don't even know where to start and Baba says you are a crime expert after all your Dragnet so I thought maybe you would have some ideas."
"Phew – that is a tough order. Maybe you should go to your commie criminal friends about this one."
"They are not commies, and they are not criminals, we, I mean we are a legitimate political party."
"Fine,fine. When will one of these legitmate political party members make an honest woman out of you?"
"Rebbe!"
"I have to ask – that is my job. All right, call me Friday."
"The story you are about to hear is true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
No comments:
Post a Comment